5 ways to deal with ‘shoulds’
We have all said I should… at one point or another, in fact I think I have said that exact statement today! When it comes to something small ‘shoulds’ aren’t really the end of the world but when they start to overwhelm your life and make you feel like you are falling behind or now good enough, we want to start making some changes as ‘shoulds’ are always external statements that have come from either someone you know or society.
Here are my 5 ways to dealing with the shoulds…
Challenge the "Should" Narrative: Question the validity and origin of the "should" statements that come up in your mind. Ask yourself if these expectations are truly aligned with your values, desires, and aspirations. Recognise that societal or external pressures may be influencing these beliefs, and consider whether they serve your authentic self.
Practice Self-Reflection: Take time to reflect on your own needs, priorities, and goals. Tune in to your inner voice and trust your intuition when making decisions. Consider what truly matters to you and what brings you joy and fulfillment. By focusing on your own values and aspirations, you can align your actions with what feels right for you, rather than being driven by external "shoulds."
Cultivate Self-Compassion: Be kind and compassionate towards yourself when you experience feelings of guilt or inadequacy due to unmet expectations. Remind yourself that you are human and that it's okay to prioritize your well-being and make choices that are in line with your own needs and desires. Treat yourself with understanding and acceptance, letting go of self-judgment and embracing self-compassion.
Set Boundaries: Learn to establish healthy boundaries by saying "no" when necessary. Understand that it's perfectly acceptable to decline certain requests or obligations that don't align with your values or overwhelm you. Prioritize your own well-being and allocate time and energy to the things that truly matter to you. Remember, it's not selfish to take care of yourself.
Reframe and Refocus: Instead of getting caught up in "shoulds," reframe your perspective and focus on the possibilities and choices available to you. Shift your mindset from obligation to opportunity. Embrace the freedom and empowerment that comes with making conscious decisions based on what truly resonates with you. Choose to live a life driven by passion and authenticity, rather than being bound by external expectations.
Remember, your life is yours to live, and you have the power to shape it in a way that reflects your true self. Release the "shoulds" that don't align with your values and embrace the freedom to create a life that brings you joy and fulfilment.
If you want some help reframing the shoulds that are currently keeping you stuck then drop me a message and we can tackle them together